Mean Mommy University

DEATH OF A LONG FRIEND

2012-01-24T16:01:00.001-07:00

I'm a little heartsick today.

My 7 year old friend died.

My computer.

Yep. My computer died.

(I hope you didn't have tears in your eyes--that would be wasted water!)

It was coming. It had a very prolonged death, but then that nasty trojan virus came and kicked its knees out from under whatever remaining months and possible year it had left, and it died a swift and tragic death in a matter of 60 seconds.

And I helped killed it. On accident.

Darn, mailicious virus.

Miraculously, I saved ALL my information the week before, so I didn't lose much, or this post would be WAY tragic.

So my husband and I have been in talks. We are on the crossroads of wondering what to do now. Mac or PC?

We had a PC--but everyone keeps saying the MAC is so much better, so much cooler. So please help! What do you like better? The mac or pc? Why?

And my biggest question as I type this on my laptop--if you are or have once been a PC user and switched to Mac--are you happy by it? Do you like it better? Are the programs friendly or is it a hassle? And how hard is it to transfer your programs from PC to the Mac?

I hate making big decisions this fast! So any help would be greatly appreciated!

JUST TRY TO NOT LAUGH. I DARE YOU.

2012-01-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

So.

My husband came home with this funny story--and I want to share.

He had a mom and her two kids walk into the clinic to be seen. Any time you bring kids--it's bound to get interesting. This is why I don't take kids. Unless, they are the ones who are sick.

Or we wait for daddy.

And frankly, to be honest, I'm not a brave woman. I would rather call in professional help (AKA my mommy or MIL) before I dare venture the doctor office, store, or any facility where I must take 5 kids on my own.

I. am. a. wimp.

Think what you want, but I am proud to wallow in the pool of pathetic and deseperate.

ANYWAY--as I was saying,

This brave woman came in with her 2 adorable kids. 3 and 7 years of age.

Before my husband could start the exam, for whatever she had come in for,

the 3 year old little girl asked him, "Dr. H? Can you pick up my mom?"

My husband nodded. "Of course I can," he smiled.

That for some reason, seemed to stump the little girl and she pondered on that.

Whereupon the 7 year old boy immediately voiced his awe. "Wow! Can you pick up an elephant?"

I have giggled at this all day long. Don't take this the wrong way--it's just the cute, innocent things our little kids tend to say...and at the wrong times.

Why is that?

OFFICIALLY OBSESSED!

2012-01-09T20:59:00.001-07:00

My name is Cam....and I'm addicted to the TV show: Once Upon A Time.

Honestly--good TV.

But then, I've always been a sucker for princesses, knights, and fairytales. Anything that helps me escape reality. Even if it's for an hour. :)

(I won't go through the run-down of my day, but it includes a panic room, 120-volt magnesium-grade electrical lock that would make Magnito from X-MEN drool, a pitbull with vampire fangs and high heels--for specific and legitimate reasons, I assure you--and one envious fire-striped taser.

Oh, and a cupcake to make it all better. I would have asked for a cookie, but beggers can't be choosers. And this is where my TV addiction comes in.)

It's one of those shows where you can't wait till Sunday because you have to know what happens next. And the evil queen...seriously. Has there been anyone better?! I'm not the type of person to go out and buy TV seasons--but I SO plan on doing that with these beauties.

Once Upon A Time, you've turned me into a TV junkie!

I'M A FAN

2012-01-03T10:11:00.005-07:00

This is the most beautiful rendition I've heard. David Archuleta is a beautiful person inside and out. This song gives me chills x10.

This is all I want to say right now.

For some reason, the sound isn't working on my computer. If it's not working on yours, here is the link. If you have a moment and want to hear this amazing song, click on this link below. You won't find this song on his album. Hopefully in the future! *fingers crossed!*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQVKJnZbAwk&feature=related

BREAKING DAWN SCENE--FEATURING ELLEN!

2011-12-18T16:07:00.001-07:00

Okay. I laughed sooo hard. LOVED this!

She has to be my favortite comedian ever!

CHRISTMAS COOKIE

2011-12-16T18:05:00.001-07:00

This photo makes me laugh hard every year.

My 6 year old daughter--then 4--was decorating her sugar cookie while my hubby and I were entertaining family.

We found her by herself, decorating this on her own. This was the end result.

I know I post this yearly--some are probably rolling their eyes--but it just may end up being a tradition. I giggle every time I see it. Hope you find joy in your crazy holiday season!

TWILIGHT SPOOF

2011-11-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

In honor of the new Twilight movie coming out, I thought I would share this clip.

This is Twilight, the first movie...and how it should have ended.

Enjoy!

HALLOWEEN 2011

2011-11-01T11:59:00.001-06:00

October is a busy month for me.

Aside from celebrating 2 of my kids' birthdays 4 days apart from each other, and the typical Halloween parties and such, our neighborhood hosted a Trunk-r-Treat.

Of course I decorated my trunk!

How could I not?

My morbid creativity juices did not fail me.

In that green bowl, sitting next to the potty seat, complete with toilet paper sticking out on the sides of the bowl, was where I placed my Halloween treats.

Yes, I handed out Potty Training treats to all of the neighborhood kids.

*Bonus*

A few weeks ago I was wracking my brain of what I'd be for Halloween.

Inspiration hit me like my hand hitting the bottom of the candy bowl.

Inspiration dawned on my mind like the word 'fat free' on candy packages doesn't necessarily mean it's 'calorie free', but I like to pretend... Shhhh....

And an idea was born.

I finally realized what I wanted to be for Halloween. I was going to dress up, portraying my obsession. And drag my baby into it.

And I give you Cookie Monster--with her favorite Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookie!

If you're just getting to know me, there's only one thing you really need to know. I have a terrible obsession for chocolate chip cookies.

And I need counciling.

And an addiction treatment holding cell.

And a multi-prevention 12 step program plan.

And more chocolate chips. I just ran out....

I hope your Halloween was as festive, fun, and full of sweetness as ours!

And I will have to blog about the highlights of our Halloween night another time....

Okay, I'll just tell you now.

So my brother came with his wife and 3 kids. (Doesn't that sound like a punchline to a joke?)

As they went trick-or-treating around the neighborhood, they kept their little year old baby in the stroller. So my brother went up to the door in her place.

By. himself.

So as the neighbors were passing out the candy to the 4-11 year old kids in our group, you can imagine the reaction on their faces when they saw my 30-year old brother stand there (alone) in his pirate costume, purple bucket and say, "Trick or treat!"

Seriously.

The image is just as hilarious as it was in person. They didn't know he had a kid waiting out in the stroller. They just saw a grown adult, dressed up as a pirate, trick-or-treating with the littles in our group.

He had more than one person staring at him thinking, 'Aren't you too old for trick-or-treating?'

Funny, funny, funny!

I hope you all had a Happy Halloween and a memorable one!

SO SOOO FUNNY!

2011-10-17T11:59:00.002-06:00

Click on the link below:

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=17627156&nid=1011

Then watch the attached video in the article on Netflix.

I laughed and laughed....and laughed....laughed some more....

LOVE Saturday Night Live. :)

*Note* It will be a black screen when you click on the embedded video.

It will take a minute or two to load.

SOLUTION TO SOLICITORS

2011-10-11T10:29:00.000-06:00

I've come up with an awesome idea.

Well, maybe it's awesome for me, but I came up with an idea for all those door-to-door salesman that come knocking, trying to sell me something "so amazing" that it will save me money. Hense, they IGNORE my "No Soliciting" sign.

*sigh*

I know it's a tough economy, but really? It respectful to obey the homeowner's wishes. You are already on the wrong foot should you choose to ignore their signs. I know I've blogged about this before, but can you see that I have a problem with solicitors?

I want to put something up on my door that says, "I don't care if it'll save me money, I don't want your product!"

(read: go away or I'll let my feral 4 year old bite you.)

My mom bought some great Halloween decor. I fell in love with the skeleton she had.

It was then I had an ingenious idea!

Forget the Halloween wreaths, move over cutesy pumpkins, bats, and hay bales, I am now going to hang this 3 foot skeleton from my door. And it will look just like this:

Giving my skeleton a halloween costume, complete with pirate patch, fake beard, and sash, I will hang a sign down from it's ribs and it will read in bold letters:

Here ye be warned!

NO SOLICITING!

Failure to adhere to the code, must suffer the wrath of this household and have yer corpse strung up like Larry, the last solicitor who dare challenge the code…

LOVE it.

And I like it so much, I'm going to keep it up for a long time. Truly.

Novemeber, I'll just dress it up like a pilgrim.

(It'll look mighty handsome in a cummerbund. And more threatening with a musket.)

Decemeber--well duh. Santa.

(although it would make a cute skeletal reindeer)

February: Cupid

(Come on, wouldn't that make you smile? I'd love to see a cloth diaper on him. But I won't be changing his diapers.)

March: leprechaun

April: Easter bunny

(Awww. The first ever Easter skeleton.)

(wannabe...)

See. Impossible ideas abound!

No doubt it will catch the next solicitor's eye, one who dared pretend he didn't "see" the 'no soliciting' sign on my doorstep WILL NOT miss this!

I ♥ Halloween.

MATH WOES

2011-10-03T08:53:00.000-06:00

Math. My heads hurts thinking about the subject. Since I can’t excel past a 3rd grade level (I cheated of what would be the next 9 years of my school life) (Kidding~ maybe…)

When I was in Jr. High, I remember soliciting help for a math problem I couldn’t do. All of them were your typical story problems, until I came to one I could not do. I still remember the Math story problem which was—AND I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP—

Q: Why did the nomad put his tent on the stove?

Seriously. That was the question. Stumped, my friend Kari and I stared at each other and laughed. We flipped to the back of the book and raided the math answers. The answer?

It was 3! WHAT?!

If anyone can figure that out, I will crown you as Math Queen for Nomad Eternity.

So, math is not my subject of choice. My husband is on math patrol around here in helping the kids with their math homework. He’s smart. Book smart. And I’m…..well—so he was helping my 6th grader with some math homework.

Halfway through her homework, he started laughing. He then called me over and shared with me my daughter’s jewel of a math problem. A problem she did ALL. BY. HERSELF.

*GOLD STAR!*

Here’s the math question:

If you had a fraction strip folded into twelfths, what fractional lengths could you measure with a strip?

Her answer: Your thumb

“Your thumb?” I turn to look at her.

“Your thumb is at least an inch!” she protested.

Uh…that’s not what it’s sayin. But what’s even funnier—I can TOTALLY see her reasoning in how she answered that problem. Which makes me laugh harder.

Second part of the problem, part B:

How is your answer in part (a) related to the factors of 12?

Her answer: Because they are.

Oh, Math. Why must you confuse and complicate so many?

I guess the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.

RANDOM

2011-09-25T22:13:00.002-06:00

5 kids keep life busy.

Enough so, I actually forgot that somewhere out there in cyberspace, I had a blog.

My baby is now 4 months old. Already?!

Bittersweet to see the infant stage pass as we go now into baby stage. She's laughing, cooing, loving the fact that she has toes and knees that appear out of nowhere and dangle above her head, just out of reach that she can't get them.

I've been thinking about Halloween. Usually, our family does a theme and we all dress up. Last year we were pirates. The year before we went as Robin hood and Maid Marian with their future children and pet skunk. (My son. He refused to wear anything other than that costume.)

This year....I'm feeling a little like....

Yeah. Something like this.

I'm not really into it. (Don't you love my daughter's face in this? I love her look of disgust.)

One daughter want to go as an army girl, the other wants to be a vampire fairy, (interesting mix, I know), and the other wants to be a cat, my son a car, my husband wants to be a vampire.

Me?

I want to be cool....

Like this cool.

I thought of going as Octomom--(again)--but that's sooooo last year.

Looks a little Spaceball-ish, don't you think? (You've seen that movie, right?!)

Hey--I won an award for this, I'll have you know. I forget what category. Probably the: "WHAT THE #$%@!..." category. :)

I'm trying to think of something fun I can do with my baby. Like be a chef and the baby be dressed as a lobster. But dude, I don't want to be a chef! I'd rather us reverse costumes and I be the lobster! I really am serious....but I don't think they sell Lobster costumes in adult size. Honestly, could you picture a lobster my size walking down your neighborhood street?

I like to be off-the-wall. That's just one thing to know about me. I don't like to be serious.

I thought of going as a Kangaroo--dressing my baby as my "joey". But let's be honest. I can't hop. Nor will I. And this white girl can't jump. And we'd look stupid. Really, a Kangaroo?

I've always, ALWAYS dreamed of going as a sumo wrestler for Halloween. I've been trying to talk my hubby into that one for years now. He won't do it. Because he knows just for sport, I'll trip him while we waddle down the sidewalk and I'll jump on him--give the neighbors a good show.

He's afraid of blackmail.

And the simple fact that well, what an dork Halloween brings out in me.

Besides, most sumo wrestling costumes are blow-up. If I did jump on him in an all-impressive Kung-Fu Panda move, I'd probably pop a butt cheek or something.

I've got it! GASP! I can't believe I didn't think of it before!

I guess you'll just have to wait and see what I come up with. :)

How about you?

Have you thought about what you want to be or your kids? Do you make your kid's costumes or buy? Any off-the-wall and fun ideas out there? DO you dress up? I would love to know!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT :)

2011-08-27T09:43:00.000-06:00

My darling 8 year old just informed me with some profound insight. After all these years, I've had it wrong.

"Mom, did you know that fruit flies are really Chinese fairies?"

Is that what they are? LOL.

♥ Love her ♥

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS BROUGHT TO YOU BY...

2011-08-15T09:24:00.004-06:00

(My first car. *sniff* I know, you're full of envy.)

I had one of those memories that slam into your thoughts out of nowhere and suddenly, you’re crying tears because you’re laughing so hard.

So this memory is one of my “embarrassing moments” memories.

♥ them!

I actually love to share my embarrassing moments because I love to laugh at myself. I’m a true blue dork. And proud of it!

I was 16 and I had a car—and it my very first time filling it with gas. It was a Friday night and my girl friends and I made plans to go up the canyon and have a BBQ and play Volleyball. I was the designated driver since I had the car that could hold all of us. (7—to be exact)

Everyone met at my house and soon we headed up the canyon. But first, I needed to gas up the car. Extremely nervous about doing it for the first time without my dad, I constantly looked at my gas gauge, knowing I had to get it soon, or all of us would be stranded on the side of the road.

No one wants a BBQ, stranded on the side of State Street.

My dad was very strict about letting me know that my car could only be filled up with unleaded gas.

Nothing else.

So I pulled into the gas station and drove around the gas pumps looking for “unleaded” gas. All I saw was “supreme”, “regular”, and “plus”. Frustrated, I pulled up to a pump and looked around, searching for “unleaded” gas. My friends said to go ahead and fill it up anyway, but I told them it had to be “unleaded” gas—that my car only took a certain kind of gas. My dad was specific about that. Looking at my gas gauge, I didn’t think I had enough to go somewhere else and fill up without getting stranded.

A man pulled up on the opposite side of our pump and as he filled up I gathered my courage and asked him, “Excuse me, Sir? Yes, do you have unleaded gas on your side of the pump?”

The piece of straw he was chewing on, fell from his mouth and fluttered off his lips like a dirty pigeon feather as he looked at me with that expression that says ‘Wow, are you stupid’.

I was able at that point to fill in the blanks of what he didn’t say, but was obviously thinking: “And this girl didn't get a full ride into Harvard? Where's the justice!?”

Yep. Something like that....

He glanced over and saw my car packed with all girls and he rolled his eyes.

I could have said at that point; ‘Yep, that’s right Mr. straw-chewing-man-who-looks-like-a-cow-in-the-pasture, this is a practical joke where we all entertain ourselves with my lameness while searching the city for UNLEADED gas! The joke is on you!’

While the man finished filling up his car with unleaded gas, I kept busy reading the beautiful colorful pictures they had printed on the gas pump that talked about static electricity and how you can light yourself on fire, complete with stick drawings. You know, children’s bedtime story stuff.

So after the man paid for his gas (back in the day when you actually had to walk in and pay) I waited until he drove off before slipping back into my car and driving around to HIS side of the pump. He said he had the right gas and I needed some. (Wait…that sounded gross….but you know what I mean!)

WHAT I MEANT WAS: He had unleaded gas on his side of the pump—and my car was desperately low on gas.

BUT….

There was only Supreme and Regular! HE LIED TO ME!

Jerk….

Big jerk….

So after wasting a half hour at the gas station, I got back into my car and pulled out on the busy canyon road—going 15 MPH to conserve gas while I drove to the next gas station—where I was certain they would have unleaded gas. Sure, many people flipped me a kind bird here and there. I may have had a beer can chucked my way. I may even have heard a colorful swear word or two eloquently combined in a beautiful arrangement of hatred, BUT-- victory was mine as I FINALLY pulled into the gas station and saw the ray of light shinning down on the pump that read UNLEADED. Granted I nearly caused several traffic accidents by driving so slowly—and the ray of light shinning down was nothing more than the lone light flickering up above the roof of the gas station ready to die, but I had managed to find my beautiful unleaded gas that my car so desperately needed.

Moral of the story: Let your dang father fill up your big car before your outings — and never tell him all the details of what happened when he asks how your night was….unless you want to see him completely overcome with a fit of hysterical laughter that causes him to take off his glasses and wipe away tears. And then recite the story to his friends and family for the next decade.

True story.

KID HISTORY 5

2011-07-19T09:15:00.000-06:00

These super hilarious guys made another "episode". Love ♥ LOVE these!

THE STORY

2011-07-07T13:08:00.000-06:00

Two weeks ago, life changed in a split second. Why is it that it takes a crisis to gain true perspective? When things like this happen to you, it’s never in slow motion.

7 pm. It had been 4 hours since the baby last ate. She was in her bassinet in the kitchen and parked by the pantry door, and I knew as she began to stir awake that she was hungry. I began to make a bottle. She was 3 steps behind me. She made a weird noise and I quickly turned around to check on her.

You’ve all seen newborns when they are startled. Their bodies go stiff, arms fly out, and legs go spread eagle. Their eyes are wide open, usually in shock as they adjust to whatever scared them. (My babies usually do this when I take them out of their bathwater and their body hits the cold air just before I wrap them in a towel.)

Well, when I glanced over into her bassinet, her arms and legs were straight in the air, eyes wide open—but staring up at the ceiling. Her eyes were full of fear. I ran to her and immediately picked her up, knowing something was wrong. She was making weird noises. Gasping sounds. Her little body went suddenly limp and she lost consciousness. I immediately screamed for my husband who came running. I threw him the baby and he began to assess her. She had stopped breathing, but she was now foaming from the mouth and nose, preventing us from administering CPR.

When anything happens to my children, I shut down. I can’t help, I can’t think. But I ran for a phone, asking over and over if I should call for an ambulance. I waited on pins and needles as my husband tried his best to revive her and help all 6 pounds of her. In a calm voice, my husband told me to call 911, but I could hear the panic in his voice. I braced myself to look at the baby. She was gray.

I don’t know what happened in all the moments that followed, but I remember feeling panic and a deep sense of loss. My newborn baby was dying.

I kept muttering a prayer, repeating it over and over as I cried. I prayed that she would be all right. I don’t know where my husband was when I was on the phone with dispatch—the operator kept prompting me to be in the room with the baby. I refused. I couldn’t bring myself to see that. I couldn’t force myself to go into the same room where my lifeless baby was being held by her father.

My husband has extensive training in emergency situations. As a Nurse Practioner he knows how to handle all kinds of medical drama and has saved lives; but knowing he was unable to help our daughter, knowing this was out of his expertise, I knew we were in trouble. That is when I lost it. If he couldn’t do it, and didn’t know how to help her then…

The paramedics were at our house in 1 minute. (The perks of living a few streets away from the fire station!)

The moment they arrived, my husband flung open the door and ran out to THEM. They came in our house eventually. I don’t know when or how long they were outside, I was in the kitchen, unable to be in the same room. I was a mess and I couldn’t watch as they began to suction out her nose, her mouth, and bring their instruments out to save her life. I couldn’t bear to see that. Even now, the memories haunt me. I can’t shake them from my mind.

My 2 week old baby began to scream. A wonderful sound! But it was the sound of agony and pain. Not the cry of hunger. I wanted to cover my ears as she wailed so loud. I have never heard a newborn cry so hard. I went into the room only to see three paramedics hovering around my husband who held the baby while police questioned me about what happened. I don’t know what I told them or what was said, my eyes were anxiously watching my baby.

I remember seeing my front door open. Several ambulances outside, a fire truck, a police car…and my entire street lined with neighbors 3 people deep.

Eventually, my baby began to recover. To make this short, we decided against transport and decided to take her to the ER ourselves. We called a neighbor to watch our other kids while we loaded her in the car to drive to the hospital. But before we left, 2 members of our faith, including my husband and neighbor, administered a blessing to her. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, these blessings are sacred to us and we believe in their power to heal and help those who are sick or afflicted with infirmities. {To learn more, click here. Or, you can email me if you have more questions.}

I don’t know what was said in the prayer. I didn’t hear anything. In fact, my baby began to choke again and I ran to her and began to suction out her mouth and nose while she was given this special prayer.

The ride to the hospital was an event all its own. I chose to drive, knowing I was no good to her as I bawled—but I could operate a car! Halfway there, my husband told me to “floor it”. No other words were needed as I knew—she had once again started to choke. I did 80 MPH down our highway—speed limit 45. My husband told me to pass people on the double line—I didn’t have time to argue. I broke all kinds of laws and we made it to the hospital in 5 minutes. (usually a 15 minute drive) He was getting panicky—which he NEVER has in his entire medical career. I knew then, the baby had stopped breathing again. As soon as I drove recklessly into the ER parking lot, the baby was already unstrapped from her car seat and my husband scooped her up and ran inside.

I had enough sense at that point to go park the car. But I sat there and cried for 20 minutes. I didn’t know what was happening—or what had become of her—and I was too chicken to get out of the car and be there with her. I kept seeing dramatic ER scenes from TV episodes run through my mind. (Stupid TV shows!)

Finally, I found the will to get out of the car—but I threw on my husband’s sunglasses to hide my swollen eyes. Still wearing my Pj top, my hair still a mess, sunglass on, I looked like the perfect zombie drug seeker as I walked into the ER. They led me back. Nothing ever prepares you to see your baby hooked up to all the machines. But she was calm, asleep, and they were waiting on tests that had been done.

My husband told me she would be just fine, but staring at our baby, I was skeptical. I couldn’t stay long as all the memories came flooding back. The reality of where we were was too much and I had to leave again. I sat out in the waiting room, sobbing, uncaring of who watched. I should really have worked harder on my faith; faith to believe that things were going to be okay, but post partum hormones kicked in and I wasn’t functioning.

After another half hour of waiting, I had this terrible feeling (which I now believe to be conjured up by my fears) that I needed to be with my daughter in her final minutes of life. (This is something I live with for having an overactive imagination. You should take a walk inside my dreams—pure I.N.S.A.N.I.T.Y.)

I went back into her room, fearful of finding a tragic scene, but she was still sleeping in her father’s arms, resting comfortably. It’s quite comical when you look back on it. My husband is calmly sitting there, holding our baby while she sleeps, and I’m sobbing like someone just ran over me with a backhoe!

Anyway, it turns out a mucus plug got lodged in her lung, which cut off her airway and prevented her from breathing, which caused her to foam from the mouth and nose—and prevented us from administering CPR.

It was a freak accident. Something that just happened (and I dare say, something that doesn’t happen often) but as I look back on the incident, it happened at the perfect time when my husband was home. It was on a Sunday, and he and I were at the right place and time when it occurred. Should you take any of these coincidences away, she would have died. Had it been just me, had my husband not been home, had it been on a weekday when the roads were busier, etc—I believe she wouldn’t have survived. In fact, the miracle in this is, just two weeks before our daughter’s accident, our little city council approved 3 full-time paramedics to be at the fire station 24 hours a day—whereas, we had none before. Had this not happened, we would have had to wait 15 minutes for paramedics to arrive—15 minutes my daughter didn’t have. I know this because our neighbor had a massive heart attack 6 weeks ago and it took 15 minutes for help to arrive. In fact, his accident is what prompted city officials to approve full-time paramedics. Had that not happened…

I have a hard time not playing the ‘what if’ game. Everyone is fine—baby is good and healthy. I am so grateful that her life was spared—that I get this precious chance to be her mom and that I get to raise her.

This is life’s greatest calling and I am so glad I get a second chance. It just reaffirms to me in the hard times of parenting children, that this is STILL where I want to be. That THIS is what I want—given all the whining, drama, tantrums…the hugs, the loves, the smiles and giggles, the funny things kids say, FAR outweigh the negatives.

I have heard people ask what others think the definition of hell is. My definition of hell is this: To not be their mom. To not get the chance to raise my own children—to not be around to watch them grow, live, and fulfill their dreams. I want to be around for that. I want them to be around so that I can do that. They are my children and I don’t want to share that parenting responsibility with anyone—they are mine to raise and I want them around—tantrums and all—so that I can continue enjoying in life’s greatest gift.

I have often heard the phrase, ‘life’s tender mercies’; what happened to our family and being able to see my infant daughter make a full recovery is one example of life’s tender mercies.

The price was paid centuries ago, but the debt we owe is incalculable.

We’re back to normal around here, as normal as it can be with a new baby in the house. We’re still adjusting to her schedule. The days are long, the nights even longer, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

*photo courtesy here*

THE BEGINNING OF A DISNEY FAIRY FALLOUT

2011-06-23T21:40:00.000-06:00

Whew!

I have a small moment to write. FINALLY! Okay--so newborns take a ton of time...I knew that, I just forgot HOW much time they consume. Every. stinkin'. ounce. But I ♥ her. Just like the handful of potato chips I keep sneaking in my 'I'm-hungry-and-I-need-something-to-eat-right-now' moments.

In fact, every minute is precious to me. I'm sleep deprived, I have dark circles and bags under my eyes, I'm emotionally exhausted, BUT I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because I have been given a second chance. So these moments mean more to me. Last Sunday, she nearly died. My two week old baby had a freak accident--something I'll write about in my next post, but yes, she nearly left this world. I won't lie. I was emotionally distraught and anxious all last week after the accident. So nothing else in life mattered. Just her. (And my family.)

She is fine now. She is healthy. It was just a freak thing that happened. Again, I promise to write more about it in my next post, but to end on a lighter note, something that makes me giggle, my 8 year old came to me in a panic the other day. This is how it went down:

8 year old: “Mom! Mom! Has the baby laughed?”

Me: “No….babies don’t laugh when they’re this little. It will still be several more months before she can do that.”

8 year old: “Whew! I thought I had missed it! Okay, okay....we're still good. You’ll let me know and come get me when she laughs for the first time, right?”

Me: “Sure….?”

8 year old: “Good. I don’t want to miss watching a fairy being born when she laughs for the first time.”

LOL!

CONFESSION:

We’re a very Disney driven household around here. ;)

My dilemma?

When the baby is 3 months old and she laughs for the first time. My 8 year old has some pretty high expectations for that milestone….

Maybe I can print out some pictures online and quickly slap them on the wall. “Look honey! Those weren’t there before!”

It’s True…I haven’t decorated the house in Disney fairies before….but she’s too smart for that. (And anyone with an IQ over 1)

Maybe I can buy some Sea Monkeys…

However, I just don't know how Sea Monkeys are going to smooth things over when she's expecting Tinkerbell fairies to be born when my daughter takes her very first magical laugh. :)

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-06-14T15:48:00.000-06:00

Check out Jordan's latest giveaway!

If you're a fan of digital scrapbooking--you're gonna want to enter to win this sweet package!

Also--if you've got a camping trip coming up, make life a bit easier by using Jordan's checklist for food preparation and menus. She makes it so dang easy, you can't forget anything--even if you wanted to...because you know, you've already packed half the house and you don't want to cram in one more thing. ;)

Head on over and check out her super cute--{and printable}--labels!!

♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♥

2011-06-05T18:26:00.000-06:00

She has arrived!

Baby Lily weighed in at 6 lbs 6 oz and was 18" long.

So happy she is here, so happy to be done! :)

It's taken a long time to get to this point, but our family is finally complete.

Thanks everyone for your well wishes and thoughts. It's been an adventure, but the journey was worth it. :)

AND THE DAYS ARE DRAGGING

2011-05-24T16:23:00.000-06:00

And…..I’m still here. Sheesh. What does it take to have a baby these days?! I’ve been in “minor” labor for two weeks now. It just isn’t progressing. Isn’t this the stage where all pregnant women want to scream, cry, and try desperate measures to have a baby? I’m at the point now where I’m willing to jump on the tramp upside down and drink cayenne pepper soda while singing the national anthem in German.

For my mom, it was peach cobbler that started her labor. Um……..I REALLY like that method. In fact, I’m just about to whip me up a batch to see if it works! Maybe it’s hereditary….

How about you? Do you have tricks that have helped jump-start your labor? Any fun suggestions to get things going? I’m getting impatient. The 9th month is always the worst, isn’t it?? Here’s to crossing my fingers that something will work! :)

THE END OF A LONG ROAD

2011-05-15T14:39:00.000-06:00

My days are numbered.

This may or may not be my last blog post for a while, but newborn baby is expected to come in the ensuing days. I’m 9 months pregnant and they already had to stop my contractions last Wednesday. The hospital staff wasn’t quite comfortable allowing new baby to come just yet—she still has a few more weeks to go, according to the date charts. I am in total agreement and am working hard to keep her nice and insulated for at least 3 more days. *crossing fingers*

This is why:

This picture makes me teary. 14 long years (including summers) (and piles of debt) have all led up to this moment. This is my husband, finally graduating in Washington DC with his Doctorate degree.

And, I can’t be there.

How monumental this moment is—and how badly I wish I could share it with him. Do I dare say I feel like I should be graduating with him after so many years of supporting him and feeling like a single parent so that he could continue his education? They should give honorary degrees to the spouses. ;)

So while he’s gone, I’m working hard to make baby stay put—at least until daddy gets home. I mean, he got me into this—he better be here to see her birth! Both occasions are big events—never to be repeated again. I couldn’t deny him the honor of walking with his graduating class after so many hard years of blood, sweat, and tears. How cruel would that be? BUT-- I’ll kill him if he misses the birth of this child.

So this blog post is mostly for my husband: Congratulations babe! I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams and working through what seemed like impossible feats at times to finally make it to this moment in your life.

*deep breath*

And now we’re done with school, like forever. And no, I don’t want to see you turn around and go for your MBA. That was pretty funny on the phone (even though you were serious) but, let’s enjoy this moment and savor it—while ignoring the fact that we now have years [decades] worth of debt to pay off.

And in a decade from now, I’ll be standing right there next to you, knowing we accomplished another great feat, smiling as our firstborn reaches adulthood (if I let her live that long!). We’ll be battered, scarred, bruised, and gray, I’m sure. Let’s hope we’re smiling tears of joy because it’s her wedding and she’s getting married! WOOHOO! (I’m kidding.) (Okay, actually, I’m not. She has been a challenge.)

On a more serious note, life is full of milestones and accomplishments, and I am so happy to see my husband accomplishing his dream. It’s all about dreams at the end of the day, isn’t it? Chasing them and being there in the moments when they finally unfold and come true.

Way to go, honey. I love you.

SEEING DOUBLE :)

2011-05-12T14:10:00.000-06:00

Pretty clever--whoever the mastermind was who put this out there. :) BTW--I LOVED Kate's wedding dress! It's one of the most beautiful ones I have seen. I want to get married all over again! :)

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-04-29T18:36:00.001-06:00

Catch Jordan's new post. She is guest blogging over at I Love The Way She Blogs--and she is giving a simple run down tutorial of how to create and design your own blog.

Have you ever wanted to learn how to do it yourself? Check out her post to learn more. I have always wanted to learn how to do it myself, but at least, with Jordan's encouragement, I think I might be able to figure it out one of these days! :)

KID HISTORY!

2011-04-26T06:49:00.002-06:00

Can I tell you how excited I am that they made another??

These are so stinkin' hilarious!

AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BABY...

2011-04-18T10:59:00.001-06:00

My 8 year old loves to come and put her hands on my big belly and ask, “Is the baby moving?”

She does this a lot. It’s just exciting for her to know that our family will be adding another little sister for her to play dress-ups with and do hair and make-up.

The other night, she put her head on my big tummy and said, “I want to hear the baby cry.”

I said, “The baby doesn’t cry at this point. Besides, she is surrounded in water. You wouldn’t be able to hear her if you tried.”

My 8 year old stared at me quizzically. “The baby is breathing water?”

“In a sense, yes,” I told her.

She gasped as she jumped to her feet. Her eyes were huge and round as she screamed out with excitement, “MOM IS HAVING A MERMAID!!!!”

“Unless,” my 10 year old quips, “it really is a boy…”

My 8 year old gasps again. “THEN IT’S A MERMAN! AND THOSE ARE RARE!!!!”

Seriously, how cute and funny can kids be? :)

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-04-14T16:11:00.000-06:00

Check out Jordan's latest adventure! Seriously, that woman is talented! And you know what, I've already placed my order. I can't wait! Think: Mother's Day or Summer on the Beach. Or, Vacation and "I need something super cute to tote my stuff around while I shop till I drop." Or, "I need a brag bag to carry when I go to church and need something to carry manuals and teaching supplies in."

Yes, it was the latter that made me sprint to the checkbook and buy one of Jordan's beauties. I can't wait to see what else she has in store!

Literally. ;)

THE POWER OF CREATIVITY

2011-04-04T09:58:00.003-06:00

Creativity.

Some people just have a knack for it. Their juices get flowing and they can envision things others only dream about.

Take Jordan for example. She is the one who designed and completed my blog makeover. She widened margins, widened the text, made new buttons and header…It would take me a lifetime to figure out the HTML codes to do a 1/3 of what she accomplished in one day.

Yep.

She designed ALL this—in. One. Day.

So a big shout out to her and a huge THANK YOU! It looks soooo much better!

She also has a knack for being super creative around the house. For instance, she made these:

And these:

Feel free to drool over the bags. Makes you wish you had taken a sewing class in high school instead of home ec {where you hoped you would be fed during school because you were always hungry and dreamed of making cookies and getting an easy “A”} instead of threading a sewing machine and jamming the thread without cussing, right?

So it made me think. How am I creative? Surely I have some mad skills lying dormant. Then I realized, I can be creative too…just in different aspects. Like….

I can paint….

I just happen to cut corners. No one will notice, right?

I can never move from this house.

I like to leave love letters for my husband to find. On the mirror.

I like a decent challenge. The Asians use chopsticks as an alternative to silverware; I like to see how our family can eat without CLEAN silverware.

I have created my own version of earplugs to tune out the kids during the day.

Ipods are soooo overrated.

To give myself a 5 second head start when outrunning my children—especially if I’m on the phone—I throw chocolate chips on the floor. And then let my kids scavenge for them like an Easter egg hunt.

Oh! Have you ever been late getting the garbage out to the curb on time? Have you ever had to chase the garbage truck down? This creative trick works like a gem to catch the garbage truck’s attention!

Who needs a garden gnome? I hang my kids up outside for decoration instead.

I am no different than any other mom out there who threatens their kids into behaving. Instead of taking away privileges and toys, I just threaten to feed them to the all-powerful Mayan garden snake.

OR - - I feed them ‘Mexican macaroni and cheese’ as punishment…

Speed cleaning. You know when you’re given only 2 minutes to clean your whole house before company arrives? I stuff whatever I’m holding into the closet.

Even underwear.

I just never offer to hang up their coats. The creativity comes with finding an excuse as to why my hall closet is out of order. Well, duh. Because it’s under wear and tear. Literally. ‘Underwear’ and tear….

Ha Ha Ha H…..

This post just goes to show those—like myself—who think they aren’t amazingly creative, of course they are! It just comes in different aspects.

But other people may not pay for our services… :)

JORDAN'S STREET--VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

2011-04-01T08:54:00.000-06:00

Are you putting your kids in danger without realizing it? I have. And I panicked. The world of technology is wonderful--but as Jordan points out, it has a dark side. One that we, as parents, are unaware of.

The beauty of learning this knowledge is knowing how to fix it and to start making changes. This is so important if you own a smart phone. Either an iphone, blackberry, droid, etc. Please take two minutes to head over to MMA and learn what you can do to protect your kids!

MY DAUGHTER'S TOY "CRAP"

2011-03-28T08:18:00.001-06:00

My 5 year old daughter has a toy crab. But she has a hard time pronouncing the “b” and depending on the word, the "b" turns into a "p".

In this case, the word "CRAB" is "CRAP".

Her toy “crap” also squirts water. A few days ago she was playing with it in the bathroom sink. I then caught her chasing her 3 year old brother down the hall giggling, “My crap is getting you wet!”

So so bad, but so funny!

My morning entertainment didn't stop there. She found a bowl and filled it with water. Placing her toy crab in it, she began screaming excitedly, “Look! My crap is swimming!”

I’m laughing too hard to correct her. :)

A LONG WEEK

2011-03-21T09:59:00.000-06:00

You know, pregnancy is a beautiful thing. But I am anxious to be done. :)
Two more months. Two more months.....

Aside from the typical demands most moms and wives do, it's been hectic taking care of sick kids and getting them caught up in school work. And this past week, I had a freakish accident and my ear drum shattered. Again.

*Sigh*

Now I'm deaf in one ear. Super annoying. Last time it took 6 months before I could hear again. On the bright side, when the baby is finally here, the sound of her cries won't be so intense, right? Maybe I'll be the one who is sleeping through the night, unaware...hee hee...

I can't help but contemplate what little kids go through when it happens to them. It's the most painful thing I've gone through myself...aside from giving birth. But at least they can give you an epidural to numb the pain. ;)

But funny story--on Saturday my husband and I went out to dinner. I just happened to sit with my deaf ear to the waitress. As I was ordering, she was staring at me funny. I looked at my hubby and he leaned in and said, "She can't hear you."

Wait. Who can't hear who??

But it's true. I can't hear myself. I can't explain it but everything sounds so loud in my head, like my voice when I speak, so I have no idea how loud or quiet I am. So as I ordered, the waitress kept looking to my hubby to confirm what I had said. Seriously, she looked so annoyed with me I swore she was about to bring out an interpreter and break out the sign language. It was funny to me that she continued to talk very loud and very slow to help me understand.

I was tempted to talk back to her very slowly and slur my speech a little--just for dramatic effect, but I held back the impulse and continued behaving like an adult instead of a prankish teenager. Truthfully, I didn't have the guts. I wish I did--I would have loved to bookmark her facial expressions....

Anyway, don't forget to tune in with Jordan. She always has something fun going on over at her corner. :)

Have a great week everybody!

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-03-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

PERSPECTIVE.

Beautiful, beautiful and brilliant post. Not only have I been battling that 'little voice' inside my head this past month and mentally beating myself up as my body changes, swells, and triples the size I am use to, I needed a good dose of perspective.

I found it here.

The beauty in being pregnant is--that I can. And that I am. There is life within me. Although it's a temporary change, I'll have something for the rest of my life--and in the next. There will always be a part of me for generations. A legacy, one I will leave behind, my own mark upon the world, and it wasn't done by worldly success. Childbirth and childrearing is the true meaning of success--something the world cannot give but what you give into it and make it better. The changes I am facing is but a small sacrifice when understanding the bigger picture.

Are you wrestling with that 'little voice' inside your head? Do you find yourself trying to drown out the voices that tell you that you aren't doing enough, that you aren't pretty enough, or whatever it may be? It takes effort and courage to step outside ourselves, our problems, and what we're going through to truly see life....and to celebrate the beautiful.

DOOR-TO-DOOR SOLICITORS

2011-03-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

Door-to-door salesmen. I have had some pretty interesting people come our way trying to sell us their products. I have had: the magazine subscription lady who is trying to earn her way to college and has shown up on our doorstep the last 3 years. {Yep—SAME lady. I guess she hasn’t raised enough money yet. Poor dear.}

I have had someone try to sell me the typical cleaners “so amazingly awesome, you can’t buy them in stores because they actually work.”

{I LOVE that sales pitch.} After drinking his cleaner to prove it was safe, this man even offered to clean a stain off my floor---vowing it would work.

What? There’s a cleaner so awesome it can combat kids and their messes? It can erase oil, engine grease, worn-out carpet, the occasional mystery stain known as the black plague, and bad memories? This I had to see. I led him to my hallway. Underestimating the nature and the power my kids wield when it comes to ruining things, little did he know it was stronger than the power of his cleaner.

I won’t go into detail about how long he scrubbed my hallway’s stain, but I was appreciative to have help while knowing it wasn’t all about arm strength and a good dose of positive determination.

I’ve also had several men try to sell me professional museum grade artwork for only $89! What a steal!

Then there was the fruit guy selling apples and oranges {which I did buy—and I buy every year. His produce is amazing.}

But despite all the quirky and weird things I’ve seen…they have been beaten by the man who stopped on my porch last Friday.

This is how it went down:

*Ding dong and heavy knocking* {Why must they do both? Isn’t a knock or just a door bell sufficient??!! It’s not like I live in the depths of a dungeon. Sheesh.}

I plaster on my expressionless nice face and open the door politely—he was lucky it wasn’t a glare since he did this during naptime when I had 3 sick kids sleeping.

Before I can say anything, this stranger starts his sales pitch. “Hello!” he says ubberly cheerful, eyes so wide he looks startled. I swear he’s on crack.

“I am here to feed your family!” he exclaims.

What is this?! I didn't know they had door-to-door grocery shopping fairies! Even if they do come middle-aged and high on crack, I nearly bolt for my grocery list with special instructions to pick up Olive Garden take-out while he's out. If he's feeding our family...I want good stuff.

“I am no different than the other guys who supply main-chain grocery stores like Costco, Smiths, and Alberstons," he continues. "My truck is loaded with steak and chicken. How about if I grab you a box? How many would you like?”

Dang it. There goes dinner. fairy fraud.

So 'Mr. Meat Man' didn’t ask—he just assumed I would want the meat packed in his truck as he drives around neighborhoods; and who knows how long it’s been sitting there? Um…E coli comes to mind. Also—why would anyone buy it? How do I know where it’s been, how safe it is, and what if my family got sick from it? Who do I contact? Should my kids end up with food poisoning, who do I complain to?

The door-to-door meat man by far blows the other solicitors out of the water.

Telling Mr. Meat Man the truth I say, “I’m a vegetarian.”

And right then, I have never been more grateful for making that lifestyle choice. I didn't even have to exercise some bogus excuse that chicken nuggets make me break into a sweat with pussy hives and steak makes me spontaneously moo.

He looks at me with disbelief. “You’re kidding, right?” He doesn’t believe me. Hearing the desperation in my voice to convince him--I'm not sure if I believe me.

“No, I’m not. I’ve been a vegetarian for 10 years.”

{Hallelujah! Let the heavens rain down with spinach leaves!}

“Wow,” he exclaims in surprise and glances down the street. “There sure are a lot of people in this neighborhood that are!”

That left me with a good laugh. I was kind of surprised that he wasn’t picking up the clues as he was being turned away by so many…. ‘vegetarians’ in the area. Huh.

So I have to ask, and we all want to know: What is the craziest or weirdest thing a solicitor has tried to sell to you? Please share!

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-03-03T15:46:00.001-07:00

Jordan knows how to blog. And she knows how to blog using great pictorials and diagrams that gets the message across loud and clear--rounded out with a good belly laugh. Even better? She's sooooo relatable! If you have children, I dare you to take a look at her story and comment if you TOTALLY cannot relate!

Personally, I think I'm on the Tidal Wave this week. Drama, happiness, back to drama....

Check it out here!

AM I THE ONLY ONE?

2011-02-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

Please, puh-lease tell me that I am not the only person out there with this problem!

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-02-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Goodness. The creativity of Jordan never ends. Click here to read the new and improved version of the 5 Little Piggies--as told my her adorable 4 year old...who also met an unfortunate end in the pantry. Just in time to round out the story with a dramatic end.

I am still laughing! Oh 4 year olds...and being drawn to disaster and messes....kind of like my {once} 4 year old--drawn to Honey in the picture above.

*sigh*

Happy Reading!

IF YOU NEED A GOOD LAUGH...

2011-02-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

I saw these videos the other day. Maybe I needed a good laugh, but I laughed until tears were streaming down my face. These videos are clever and so, so funny! Sit back and enjoy--but have some tissues on hand and make sure you use the potty first before viewing!! Oh, and make sure you blow it up to full screen. Even better. ;)

Happy Monday everybody!

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-02-18T13:41:00.000-07:00

Jordan has another giveaway happening over at her place. And you know what? It's going fast! The comments are piling up because everyone wants to win free loot! If you haven't tried buying anything off CSN--you'll love it. I've bought several things off their site and their service is prompt and painless. Did I mention they have just about anything you can imagine?

Oh yeah.

There was something I was going to buy from Walmart but found it cheaper on CSN. Check them out--after you've entered in the contest of course!

You wanna try the hand of fate to see if you win? ENTER HERE! And good luck!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

2011-02-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day! I had planned a special blog--but, pregnancy sickness decided to kick in. It makes you realize as much as you plan, you are still not in control. However, it's a wonderful feeling that I still have 4 little kids and a hubby to love.

So instead of posting my blog post, I was browsing my favorite food site and found this fun and beautiful cookie recipe. I am a cookie fanatic. The picture above is the picture of the cookie and the recipe can be found here. Aren't those cookies beautiful?!

And if you want some more ideas on fun food projects to do with your kids, this one looked fun too. I bought a cupcake mix over the weekend to do with the kids tonight, but I think I'll tweak it and do this with the kids!

Have a great Valentine's everybody!

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-02-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so, every week I plug a 5' tiny garden gnome princess called Jordan. And after a while, you have probably thought to yourself, "Who IS Jordan?"

First off--she is my cousin.
Second--I can tell you with absolute certainty that if the women's department sold She-ra lingerie--she'd buy it. ;)

So week after week, you only read and see a glimpse of who Camryn and Jordan are. Blogging friendships are formed, we all drop in and visit each other and leave fun comments, but in the back of your mind you have to be thinking....

WHO ARE THESE GIRLS, REALLY????

I'm still trying to figure that out too--but JORDAN has posted a wonderful glimpse of herself for blogger readers to learn more about her. We girls thrive on details, don't we?! I always like to know more about somebody--so tune in to see if Jordan really applied # 12 in her life.

And for the record....I may have used that one too. But she exercises more restraint than I do. I find myself "slipping" from time to time. Kids can bring that...side out in me. ;)

So today, we pay tribute to JORDAN. Because she is one hot mama!!

And it may be small, but I want to token her with the:

Yes. It is the master of Karate and friendship award. Is Jordan a true ninja? No. But her true little She-ra heart years to be. And if they offered She-ra karate class at the local studio on Main Street--she would be their master student with killer skill who would have defeated She-ra's arch enemy Hordack 10 times over by now.

So feel free to tune in to learn a bit more about the woman we call: JORDAN.

TRUFFLE RECIPE

2011-02-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

I guess because I'm pregnant and I've got chocolate on the brain all the time--I just wanted to share one of my absolute easy peasy and favorite recipe for making truffles. Whenever I make these, people always want the recipe.

These make great Valentine treats, aside from the regular sugar cookie. It's so fun to get kids involved and let them decorate their own--or sometimes it's just fun to do it on your own and discover all the fun ways to decorate the chocolates yourself...while you eat them. :)

I actually discovered this recipe in a magazine a few years ago, but I found them on allrecipes.com in case you wanted to link to their page and see all the pretty pictures and fun ideas people had.

Have fun making these. I know I can't stay out of them! ;)

Chocolate Truffles

Ingredients:

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
3 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
3 cups semisweet chocolate chips, melted
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

Directions:

In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth. Gradually beat in confectioners' sugar until well blended. Stir in melted chocolate and vanilla until no streaks remain. Refrigerate for about 1 hour. Shape into 1 inch balls.

Footnotes:

Roll truffles in melted chocolate, or ground walnuts (or any ground nuts), cocoa, coconut, confectioners' sugar, candy sprinkles, white chocolate chips, etc.
To flavor truffles with liqueurs or other flavorings, omit vanilla. Divide truffle mixture into thirds. Add 1 tablespoon liqueur (almond, raspberry, orange, mint) to each mixture; mix well.

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-01-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

From going to my daughter's maturation program, {fun}, to planning my 8 year old's Birthday, her party, her baptism, and getting things organized/arranged for various other things under my responsibility, I completely forgot to highlight and plug Jordan's post! Argh! I hate when I do that.

But seriously, head on over and check out her resolutions for 2011. They are very insightful and chock-full of good ideas. I especially like this one. Seeing that right now I can't exactly exercise and I must focus on healthier eating. It's just so dang simple.

Also, I just want to thank all our blogger friends that come and visit. We love you guys and the friendship and associations we have with you all. The world is still full of great and wonderful people! :)

RETHINKING EMERGENCY PREPARDNESS AND THE 72 HOUR KIT

2011-01-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

Will. I fell in love with that name. I bonded with my baby Will and envisioned his blue eyes and blonde hair and sweet temperament.

Only….Will turned out to be a SHE.

Adjustments had to be made.

Will is now Willma. :)

Yep—we’re having another girl! That will be four girls, one boy. {My husband jokingly asked the ultrasound tech for a second opinion.}

So, my only son will now grow up caged in by 4 sisters. At least for the future he’ll have firsthand knowledge of female hormones, mood swings, the definition of hell, tripping over a plethora of ‘girly’ shoes, and why moms buy chocolate in bulk at Costco. :)

{He'll have the girl version of the 'don't ask, don't tell' method down solid!}

He and his dad will have LOTS of ‘guy’s nights out’. They will have tons of time to bond on weekend camping trips, eating my hubby’s camp food, belching and passing gas without 5 females getting after them. Yes, the mountains will be their retreat. And they are going to need a haven of safety in ten years when ALL my girls are in full-blown puberty. If I were them, I’d begin planning an escape right away.

My poor boys….seriously, I just laugh when I contemplate the future with a houseful of teenage girls. I wonder if my hubby will have room in that tent for one more…? Can I hide too?

I can deal with gas.

I’ll bring the chocolate.

I’ll need to have a 72 hr. kit on hand. Not just any 72 hr. kit—one for special emergencies—one that has to be replenished monthly. Stocked with chocolate, Nutella, graham crackers, donuts, Cheesecake Factory desserts, cash, emergency cell phone, plane tickets, and Milky Way candy bars; ready for those future monthly moments when I need to flee.

Can you imagine our—how do I put this? Our sanitary napkin supply cupboard? There’s going to be a small dent in my hubby’s wallet every month, and the chocolate cupboard will need to be expanded.

And - the locks on my bedroom door will need to be reinforced with a fail-safe 12-lock system, complete with digital keypad and retina recognition.

At least when my son marries—if he decides to marry—he’ll go into that marriage with a full understanding of how a woman ticks—completely prepared with brand new camping gear that can withstand -32 degree polar temperatures.

It will no doubt be a wedding gift from his father.

JORDAN'S STREET

2011-01-12T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hey blogging friends, have you ever wrapped a gift for someone's Birthday and felt it needed...a little more pizzazz? A little something extra than the big ol' gift bag?

Tune in to Jordan's corner and print off a free printable Happy Birthday tag and print them off in bulk so that you'll always have them handy. And while you're there--wish the woman a happy 29 years because she just had a Birthday! Woohoo for Birthdays and free stuff! :)

Also, stayed tuned to her post she'll be featuring this week on another awesome New Years Resolution she'll be highlighting and getting her blog all dolled up and fancy like the cover of a magazine shoot that'll make Good Housekeeping jealous they haven't hired/discovered her yet. :)

THE RISKS AND UNKNOWNS OF PREGNANCY

2011-01-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

As I sit here and stare at my belly—it hasn’t gotten much bigger. I’m not complaining but….
I’m almost 5 months and these past few days I have been getting nervous. For one thing, 2 weeks ago I was ‘feelin’ the pregnancy.’ I was uncomfortable and had been having major back pain. But it dawned on me today that I haven’t felt baby movement in all these 19 weeks. Strange, for a mother who’s done this 5 times now. I know what to look for and well…there hasn’t been any activity.

Then I realized that I have lost weight in my abdomen. My pants fit better and I can still get the zipper up. My regular underwear still has “wiggle room” {ha ha. Stupid pun.} So….you put those 2 facts together—and I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I called the Dr. on call and they had me go into the hospital to get things checked out.

“What do you do at 19 weeks if things are bad? Do you do a D&C?” I asked.

“Well, no,” she said soberly.

They actually induce you, give you an epidural, and let you deliver the baby. Only, in this case, it wouldn’t be a live one. Envisioning that I could be going through that today, I cried. I cried for my loss, I cried for the trauma it would put me through to know that I would always remember delivering a dead baby, seeing it, and then thinking of burial, always remembering the baby I lost. Then, because I’m hormonal, I cried for all the mothers who have been in this situation—who have ever lost a baby. I was reminded of a dear friend of mine who lost hers at 6 months but they could do nothing for that child as it breathed for an hour then passed away. I cried for her all over again.

So, today was kind of a weepy day wondering if that would be my fate.

Walking into the hospital, I was nervous. I was afraid of the results, afraid of staring at a listless baby on the ultrasound, unmoving, the heart silent as it confirmed my fears.

Then a part of me wept on the inside—knowing how many mothers have gone through a similar situation. And then I wanted to cry again at the turmoil and relief I felt when they found the heartbeat and discovered that everything was okay.

Relief swept through me that my baby was alive—but then grief replaced it for all the mothers who didn’t get their happy ending. And I knew, no matter what the results were; I knew 3 things for an absolute certainty.

1— I knew I was meant to be pregnant and meant to go through this right now in my life. Relying on our religion and our faith, I knew that this was what I needed to do—even if it meant I wouldn’t get anything out of it in the end.

2— I KNOW the spirit of this child. I know for a fact that this little baby inside me has a gentle, sensitive, sweet spirit and demeanor. There is a sense of gentility that has surrounded the presence of this child. It was and is a special baby. I already know the temperament and personality of this child and I haven’t even met my baby yet.

3— I knew that no matter what happened—whether this baby lived or died before birth—I would never, ever try and get pregnant again. There is a sense of finality, a sense that I am emotionally, mentally, and physically pushed past the limits of what I can endure during pregnancy and I am done. I just can’t do it even one more time. Maybe if pregnancies were easier for me, I would have a different perspective, but no matter what happens, I am done.

I am content with 4 kids, but today, I mourned the loss of baby #5—and realized that even though the idea of 5 kids is overwhelming, I still want this child. But, now that we know baby #5 is well, healthy, and we’ve had the great confirmation of hearing the heartbeat, I still feel strongly that I still want to adopt some day. Physically, this is my last child, but…is it a wishful dream, or is it inspiration, or a promise of the future that I see a little boy with brown hair in Romania waiting for our family?

I still have to ponder that one.

So even though I am doing better tonight than I was this morning, my heart is still heavy. I want to say to those of you who didn’t get your happy ending, I knew today that no matter what happened—even being just 19 weeks—I still had a baby waiting for me. And I believe it for those who have lost theirs. There was at some point, a baby with a heartbeat living inside us—a spirit possessing that fragile little body, alive and thriving. No matter the outcome, they are still ours.

And they will always be.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MMU!

2010-12-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

I wasn't lying when I've mentioned over and over again how addicted to chocolate we are here in our house! :) This tells the story of our family perfectly. The end.

Also, one last thing to share, this is what happens when you leave a 5 year old unattended and unsupervised in the kitchen to decorate her own sugar cookie while you and the hubby go visit with family in the other room.....

And this is what you get when you walk back into the room to check on your darling to see the creativity of her decorated cookie that she did all. by. herself.

Yep. She was completely by herself and did this all on her own. This picture still makes me giggle really hard every time I see it.

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-12-16T08:13:00.001-07:00

Neighbor gifts.

Have you done yours? I haven't. I have been sitting around the last few days trying to decide what I would do for my wonderful neighbors, what would be economically cheaper and yet--stunning.

Then Jordan posted inspiration.

For anyone out there like me who needs a quick last minute idea--check out Jordan's post! I didn't want to copy her pictures or labels...seriously, she works so hard and recopying them sometimes feels like a disgrace because she has this beautiful theme working for her and then I come along and slap them on my blog and make them look lame. {Sigh.} That woman has some mad skills.

Seriously. Tune in to view her skillful and artful blog pictures that make you 'oooo' and 'awe' at her work that should be in a magazine. She has some wonderful ideas and beautiful recipes for peppermint. Mmmmm....I'm feeling a craving coming on.....

HOW I TOLD MY KIDS MAMA WAS ONE CHILD HEAVIER

2010-12-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Do you love coming up with creative ideas of how to tell your family you’re pregnant?

I don’t go all out, I like to keep it simple instead of making it a huge production—however, one year, when I found out I was pregnant with my second, I read an article on: Creative Ways to Tell Your Husband.

I took one reader’s suggestion, who placed a “bun in the oven” for her husband to find. Since we didn’t have “Buns” like in the hamburger kind, I used what I had. A roll. A dinner roll. I placed it stupidly in the center of the oven and turned on the light—waiting for the hubby to figure out the riddle.

I don’t remember much except that when he came home from a long day at work, I told him to look in the oven. Squealing on the inside, I followed. He opened the oven and made a confused face. “That’s dinner? A single roll?”

“No….but it does mean something.”

“All…the…cookies sheets were dirty?”

“No.” I prompted him to try again.

“You were experimenting?”

“No—it was planned.” I emphasized.

“Huh.” He was dumbfounded. I finally had to play a round of 20 questions with him.

“What’s another name for a roll?”

“Biscuit? Bread?”

“How about a bun?”

“What? When have we ever said, ‘let’s make buns to go with dinner’?”

Sigh. “We haven’t,” I rolled my eyes. “You’re missing the point. There is a BUN in the OVEN.”

“Yeah…?”

Mentally smacking my head, I realized why we never play games. Yeah, so-o-o-o-o not our thing.

“So…..” he began, “there’s a bun in the oven?”

“Yes.”

Silence. A generation of baby boomers have aged another decade.

“Do you get it?”

“No.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Really? So what’s with the bun?”

I have actually used that method several other times because it’s so dang stupid and no one can ever figure out what it means. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who gets my humor…

This past week on Thanksgiving Day, my husband and I took our four kids aside and decided to tell them that they were going to have a new sibling. I wish I had recorded it. I would have won AFV’s $100,000 giveaway.

This is how it went down:

Hubby: “Hey guys, mommy has something she wants to tell you.”

My kids crowded around and I began. “Okay kids, something is different with mommy and we’re going to play 20 questions. What do you think it is?”

7 year old: “You finally put on make-up!”

Me: “No! Well, yes…but that’s not it.”

10 year old: “You finally brushed your hair!”

Me: “No! Well, yes….but that’s not it either.”

10 year old: “Oh! I know! Wow look at your nose! It sure has gotten bigger!”

Me: “Noooooooo! Okay, let’s change tactics. Why do you think mommy has been throwing up so much?”

7 year old: “Because you don’t want to do house work!”

Me: “No.”

10 year old: “Because you have a really bad flu?”

Me: “nope.”

This wasn’t getting anywhere so I said, “Okay, mommy has been sick because little kids can sometimes make mommy sick. As in 5 little kids can do that to mommy.”

I wait, trying to get them to figure it out.

Blank stares.

7 year old: “There are only 4 kids.”

Me: “I know. So 5 kids can make mommy sick.”

7 year old: She begins to tick off the names of all her siblings. “There’s only four mom. Duh. Oh! I know! DADDY is the 5th kid!”

Huge laugh.

Me: “No—it isn’t daddy.”

7 year old: “Oh! It’s Camry!” {As in, our dog.}

Me: “Uh…no.”

7 year old: “Cousin Camdyn?”

Me: “NO,” I say rolling my eyes.

Different tactic. Husband says, “Hmmmm….bodies can change when something different happens. Where do babies grow?”

10 year old: Her eyes light up and she has an instant answer. “I know! I know! THE SINK!!!!!!!”

What?! The Kitchen Sink?!

*Big uproarious laughter.*

Um….there is no lightbulb on today. She’s 10! We’ve had “the talk”—out of anyone, she should have gotten this answer.

My hubby: “Wow. Okay, um….there are a LOT of things growing in the sink—but a baby won’t be one of them.”

*************TIME OUT***********

I’m going to take a moment here to pause. Um, if I knew my kitchen sink could be impregnated, I would have had it artificially inseminated and forced to be my surrogate 3 kids ago. I would have babied that sink, nurtured it, held its faucet through it all. And in its honor, I would have named a child after it.

Yes, I'd name my kid Sink. {the 'T' between the 's' and 'i' is silent and invisible. :) }

"Sink get down here! It's time to do your chores! Grab your brother Disposal while you're at it. I know his door is locked. Yes, I know he suffers with self-esteem issues but he still needs to get down here and do his job!"

Okay, sorry, back to story:

My hubby and I take a new approach. “Okay kids,” he says, “mommies have babies. So if 5 kids make mommy sick then that means….”

"GASP!"

“Nana is pregnant!” They squeal.

Me: “No,” I say in a deadpan voice. “I guarantee grandma was done 30 years ago.”

7 year old: “Oh! Grammy is pregnant!”

Me: “NO!” growl. “That grandma was done having babies at the same time! Who else could be pregnant?”

Silence. There are officially stumped. And because it’s human nature when people can’t figure out an answer—they begin throwing out guesses.

“Aunt Tandi?”

“The neighbor across the street?”

“Kenzi?”

“Who else is there?”

Me: “I dunno. Are you sure you haven’t guessed them all?”

So this guessing game continues on forever and finally I have to tell them flat out that I’m pregnant—because they sure as heck weren’t going to figure it out on their own.

*Note to self: When signing up to play Family Feud on national TV, NEVER use them as my team members.*

Anyway, having blown my chance at winning the $100,000 prize money on AFV, I suppose I’ll have to settle for the memory instead. :)

{upon further investigation, I opened the cupboard below the sink and stared. Wouldn’t you know—there are pipes, wires, and tubes running everywhere from the sink, to the dishwasher, to the water softener. I never realized how much all those tubes do indeed look like the bowels and intestines of the human stomach. Maybe my daughter wasn’t so far off on her guess.
It now makes me wonder….hmmm…..
Seriously, go check your plumbing. Er…yeah, that sounded bad. I meant the sink’s plumbing! :) }

CHANGES AT MMU

2010-11-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have noticed my absence from blogging. I wish I could say I was vacationing in Thailand, spending my days baking my albino white bod on the sandy white beaches of some exotic island whose name cannot be pronounced, while I sleep to the sound of the surf and the absence of demanding crying kids.

Ahhhhh………doesn’t that sound good? Yeah, it does sound good but…

Reality can be harder to swallow. Instead of sandy white beaches, my pathetic, larthargic bod and I have been camped on crinkled bed sheets, watching TV for 3 months. I am not a TV watcher so daytime TV has been punishment. However—I love, love, LOVE Ellen!

But, there are important things I have learned while forced into couch-potato-hood:

1- There are too many messed up people who are willing to take their legal problems to national TV and whine—thus the many, many judges who continue to get their own show and fill up every slot of daytime TV imaginable. Does America really care if your former best friend’s sister’s uncle’s cousin's aunt shot your beloved cat with mouth wash from a syringe and you want medical expenses paid in full for the $34 office visit??

2- Diarrhea is one of the many side effects of bladder control pills.

3- Daytime Soaps continue to get ratings?

4- If you’re going to buy a truck, it’s gotta be Ford tough.

5- Charmin’s toilet paper is so soft, it not only makes bears sing love songs while on the pot, it makes them want to snuggle on the couch with their mate and press toilet paper up against each other’s face. {That’s my idea of a romantic evening. Isn't it yours?}

6- If your husband offers to wash the deck—run very far away and hide before his “power wash” makes you hit the deck.

7- Pregnancy and I don’t mesh well.

Yep. I’m prego! And sick out of my mind. The meds I am taking take a slight edge off, so I haven’t had any IV’s—though I’ve come close. So for those tuning in, thanks for bearing with me. The last two months have been chaotic, making it hard to find something funny to blog about. The biggest challenge I face these days is trying to keep a few sips of liquid down and hope it stays there—all the while my kids have turned rabid and the house is now their domain.

*Family members need not fear. Tetanus shots will be given out before the family Christmas parties so that my kids don’t spread the disease.

All in all, we are excited to bring a new addition to this family. It’s wonderful to know it’s my final pregnancy. Even though this child-bearing chapter in my life will be over and I am happy about it, it doesn’t come without its bittersweet moments. I have a hard time dwelling on the fact that this will indeed be my last. My last baby. The last time I’m going to see a child get its first tooth, first foods, first step. The last time I get to snuggle my own little infant and know that the year will pass quickly and I’ll have a toddler on my hands.

Babies make me happy. Toddlers make me cry.

Again, the bittersweet. :)

While I may not be up to blogging some weeks, I still enjoy writing and chronicling the humorous aspects of life. I guarantee there will be many things to blog about in the near future! :)

CAREFUL WHAT YOU BID FOR

2010-11-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

Interesting little fact: Did you know that my husband is an Ebay junkie?

What is the wildest thing you or your husband have ever bid on? Okay now times that by 10 and you have what my husband did.

Did you feel the shift in the air go ominous?

It was the single, most stupidest moment I nearly divorced him over. No...I wouldn't have gone that far, but it was close.

Did he win the bid?

Check it out and find out if he won the bid!

SIGN LANGUAGE UNCODED--PART 2

2010-11-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

I wish I could keep up on things these days. Sometimes life comes at you all at once and you realize some things have to be put on hold. I suppose my blog has been one of those things.

Here is one of my older posts. It makes me smile remembering this. It's fun to look back and see what was written and journaled.

Thanks for tuning in this week. :)

A BIG THANKYOU!

2010-11-09T11:02:00.001-07:00

I want to send a HUGE thank you to Jordan who revamped my header! I am soooo not computer savvy, but she knows the ins and outs, the codes, the junk, the headache formulas to everything on how to not break the computer. I just can't design and create the way she can.

No, no. Trust me. In fact, if you want to compare cuteness, head over to her place and check her blog out. She designed the logo, the page, the font, the little buttons and doodads--everything you see was made by her creative genuis.

Thanks Jordan!

A GOOD LAUGH

2010-11-02T08:12:00.000-06:00

My 7 year old has a knack for saying the funniest things--things that tend to be said that are 'off the wall'.

This morning my husband woke our two kids, 10 and 7, up for school by serving them breakfast in bed and blaring the radio to a pumping song in their bedroom.

My 7 year old woke up instantly and cried, "WAHOO! Breakfast in bed? Awesome! And I love this song! I love it when it's this loud, it makes my boobies bounce!"

What the??? You're 7!!!! Hahahahahahahaha.

*Wipe tear*

This has to be the best part of raising kids--listening to all the funny things they say and journaling them!

HALLOWEEN 2010

2010-10-25T07:14:00.000-06:00

I love Halloween. It's on my favorite list next to Christmas. I love the excitement, the decorations, the morbid treats you can make, the impossible ideas for creativity.

I wanted to share some favorite links of mine for the upcoming holiday. For a great laugh, check this out!

And if you want to laugh out loud this morning, check out this one.

And because I'm a loser who forgot to upload the rest of my pictures, Kraft Foods have some of the coolest ideas for dessert and dinner ideas for Halloween. I couldn't pick just one. I love to prepare a menu ahead of time. I find that if I make a cool and creepy dinner, my kids tend to eat better before they go trick-or-treating. Just type "Halloween" in the search engine and you will get pages and pages of ghoulish ideas!

And just because I'm curious, what are your kids going to be for Halloween and do you plan to dress up with them?

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-10-16T16:00:00.000-06:00

Did you know a child's bed has phases?

I didn't either--at least, I didn't know what they called it. I won't even post pictures because only Jordan can capture the true essence of what REAL LIFE is. Um....can I say this is my life x's 3. Yes 3. Only 1 child actually stays where they should the whole dang night. {Miracles DO take place!} The other 3 end up where Jordan's kids end up--only not on my side. I put too much "fear of the mother" in them and they take refuge to the far side where Dad is.

Check out the funny pictures over at Jordan's place!

CAMRYN'S FAMILY SERVICES NOW OPEN!

2010-10-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend my home was open for room and board—just for my niece.

{I don’t have an open door policy for hobos.}

She missed me. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
And, in her words, “I want to spend time with my extended family,” said the teenager.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait—what?!

Ubberly excited, she packed her bags to escape her home of three little brothers to journey to my neck of the woods to enjoy a jam-packed-quality-time-full-of-girly-estrogen.

{Minus the hubby….gotta make sure he isn’t included, ‘cause that would make me…EW.}

Estrogen she wanted, estrogen she got. Little did my teenage niece know she’d be walking into a real haunted house full of ghouls, one or two gremlins, a dinosaur, an ogre, and a cavern of witches. {With a ‘W’ ladies….make sure you say it loud with a ‘W’. {*insert witch cackle here*}

To impress my niece—their cousin—my demented crew screamed constantly to show off their lung power. Like. All. Freakin. Day. Long.

They fought over: Who got to sit next to her, who got to eat beside her, whose room she’d sleep in. Oh, and like, “I was talking to her first! ARGH! Mommy! Make her be quiet! She’s so rude! She’s interrupting and I was—WHA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Stop it! You’re so rude! I hate you! WHAAAAAAAA!!!” *gulp* “WHAAAAAAAAA!”

Oh, brother. Give me a break.

While in the car, my 4 year old, seeing everyone crying and shouting, pulled from that energy like a death star and just opened her mouth and started yelling—because why not, everyone else was, right?

Then, she got pummeled in the back of the head with the Webkinz her sister threw over the back seat to hit her other sister, but who had the aim of a lame duck. The stuffed animal clipped the 4 yr. old’s hair, sliding it out of place. Heaven forbid, the stars fell from the sky right then and right there.

So, driving down the freeway, enclosed in tight quarters, my 2 year old decided to get in on this action:

“RAWRRRRRRRRRR! RAWRRRRRRRRRR!”

Yep. Why not? Armageddon had broken loose in the car; why wouldn’t this be the perfect time to scream out Tyrannosaurus executioner growls and froth at the mouth with E. Coli worthy slayer jaws?

Last time I checked, my car was registered and licensed for Jurassic transportation.

Traumatized from the back seat, my teenage niece sat there with her mouth in a small ‘o’, wide-eyed like a frozen block of ice, you know, the crystallized kind from the ice age.
Silly girl, didn’t you know this was the Mesozoic period? {Neither did I, I had to Google it.}

Not to disappoint her—because I left my club at home—I turned and cried out in my motherly caveman howl:

“You! Stop! Fighting! NOOOOOW!

“BUT MoOoOoM!”

“NO! Stop! Or. You’ll. Go. Squishy-squish. Out. Window! Unga!”

{Definition abridged from the Homosapien dictionary:

Unga: Cavemoms don’t harrumph—they unga. Unga modernized to Harrumph somewhere around 5 b.c. Just a note of worthless trivia…}

My niece is happily back at home now. No giant meteorite or super volcano could have kept her here.
My sister writes, “She actually hugged her brothers when she got home!!! That never happens!”

Awwwww. Doesn’t that give you a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that your family has the power to heal teenagers and scare them into behaving?

CAMRYN”S FAMILY SERVICES LLC:

‘Let us heal you. Come stay a day and you'll know your life doesn't suck quite like ours!’

Do you value your hearing?
Are you current on your rabies shot?

No? Come on down! We’ll take care of it for ya! Blown out eardrums to the first 5 people!

And - get your very own caveman club keychain, equipped with laser that shoots a mama’s evil eye death ray! “Unga!!”

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-10-08T08:16:00.000-06:00

Do you browse the computer when your kiddos watch PBS? Is this your "mommy time" when your sweet darling is watching Dinosaur Train and singing the words to "everybody poops"

{very educational if you have a kid in the potty training stages ;) }

While browsing on your break time, tune in to Jordan's post this week. She has a knack for writing exactly what I'm thinking about and how my life is. You want some serious bonding time, you want someone to really understand you?

This is the place.

Stay tuned for Monday's post. Yes, I am actually blogging this upcoming week. Maybe someone out there will still need some more bonding time....and thereapy work....depending on if the glass if half empty or knocked off the table and dripping off the chair onto the floor in a milk waterfall.

;)

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-10-01T08:06:00.000-06:00

Have you been pondering whether or not you should buy a cake stand? Jordan just gave an AWESOME review, a very convincing argument on why, dear ladies, in fact you should!

** NOTE **

Should you plan on buying a cake stand, especially with the holidays around the corner and SO many family parties to attend, csnstores.com is a wonderful place to make that purchase.

I've done some previous shopping from them. So take my word and Jordan's word for it--they're awesome.

One thing I have to add here--don't you just

L-O-V-E the way Jordan edits her pics?

Every picture she edits looks like a magazine add! Check it out:

Beautiful.

That girl has some mad skills. ;)

FAREWELL PRIORITIES

2010-09-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

School is now underway and Fall has officially begun.

In reflection to the past summer, the sad thing is, I had plans for it. I was going to get organized. I was going to rearrange my cabinets before fall came.

“What a goal, Camryn. You go, girl!”
“Don’t I know it, little voice in my head that should be medicated!”

I, Camryn, was going to branch out and organize the junk drawer. {Sounds like an oxy-moron. ‘Organize the JUNK drawer’.} Camryn, fearless mother who cuts onions without a tear, yet scrambles like a house cat hosed down with water on a daily basis to hide from children, was going to tame the pencils and scissors that continue to stab a hole in her kid’s fingers, much like the hole in the check book from continuous Band-Aid purchases.

But instead of those lofty aspirations I had for summer, new goals roped me in. HIGHER, more achievable goals.

During the summer, the kids and I lived out of laundry baskets:

To be honest, I’m going for the longest consecutive record for how long I can go without using my dresser.

I made the goal to play more games with the kids.

I We had loads of fun. I played summer-long games of cops and robbers with my kids. Only, I modernized the version. We played: “Get upstairs and run for your lives before I beat you blue with the toes attached to my foot!”

We played “clean your room” and “no friends before noon”, and my favorite: skeeball. Only…with running targets.

How you play:

The person in charge (meaning the mom) stands at the base of the stairs in front of a toy waterfall that has pooled down from the playroom and filled the hall in a river-like trail.

TIP: Make sure you ask the kids to clear off the stairs and carry their things up at least a dozen times so that you know you’ve been ignored—it’ll make said toys fly so much farther into the room when you finally ‘fly off the handle’.

{Hahaha. PUN intended.} You’ll develop a covetous arc on your swing as the toys are launched via your pitching arm.

This is where the skeeball’s moving targets and live action come in. You’ll become videogame E.V.N.Y.

You MUST use your “no-nonsense mom voice” as you order your children to gather their things—and help them by chucking toys up the stairs while the children are hauling said items.

The child on the top stair is worth 1000 points, middle stair 500, and the lower stairs 100. Kids standing beside you DO NOT COUNT for any points.

Those stomping away and refusing to help: 3000 points—no matter where they stand.

Other goals I actually did meet this summer: I let the shower slime grow. There was soapy, goopy, nasty stuff smeared around the edges of the shower and exuding down the walls that makes you wonder if this was Picasso’s inspiration. {Or maybe it was because he liked to paint—but that’s irrelevant—and beside the point--}

My shower slime could speak and sing woeful tales from the drain.

*This is where you insert raging covetousness*

No, no. Go ahead.

I’ll wait.

So, as I was saying, I went all summer without cleaning my shower. The build up that accumulated in and around it…well let’s just say that I’m now afraid to shower for fear of contracting giardia.

So many goals were achieved, but the proudest of them all: utter slothfulness.

Summer of 2011—watch out. :)

THE PANTRY PURGE

2010-09-17T07:47:00.000-06:00

The pantry closet.

Why is it such a hard thing to keep those four horizontal shelves so tidy and organized??? Why must there be empty wrappers, scattered cereal bits, mismatched items not grouped together (Like cereal boxes on seperate shelves. A no no in my house. I like my cereal boxes ALL on one shelf.)

Do you get discouraged like I do when you go to your pantry and things fall out and you get attacked by rabid potatoes the moment you fling that door open?

Do you dread hearing the crunch of something under your feet as you walk in and don't care to look down and see what it was because it doesn't matter because YOU will be the only one who will clean it up anyway? {Whew. Take a breath.}

Do you have cans on different shelves? Chip bags open and growing stale as we speak? Do you wish you spoke Chinese rather than store the noodles?

YEP. Hold on to those broom, ladies, it's not Halloween yet! Jordan has come up with some wonderful organizational tips to make your pantry sparkle like soap suds washing the grim off your car--which has nothing to do with your pantry. It was just a great analogy.

Tune in to Jordan's mini-series which she ingeniously calls:
S-A-N-I-T-Y

Close your eyes and say the word. SANITY. What a good rhythm.

Let's chant it.

Sanity.

Sanity.

Sanity.

I want some!! To sign up for free, CLICK HERE!!!

FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES--PART DUEX

2010-09-13T08:05:00.000-06:00

Our family took one last hurrah and went camping over Labor Day weekend. I had a good time visiting with my siblings and watching our kids play together.

However, it was bound to happen. My kids are notorious for saying things they shouldn’t, or saying things completely off the wall.

It was cold one morning and while the adults were playing a card game, my sister’s little girl was running around in a t-shirt, so my sister promptly began to pull a sweater over her head. The 4 year old began squirming and wriggling around, refusing to have the sweater pulled over her head.

My sister laughed in frustration and said, “Hold still, you little monkey!”

My 7 year old who was sitting next to me, suddenly piped up, “Huh. My mom always calls us freaks!”

I love that girl.

Even worse, I couldn’t deny it. :)

ARITHMETIC

2010-09-02T16:28:00.000-06:00

I think my 5th grader has entered High School.

I am overwhelmed already. On Monday, my daughter spent 2 hours doing JUST math. Then she had literacy, spelling, typing practice, and then reading. Amidst all this, I’m helping my 2nd grader with her homework (not hard, I’ll admit, but she had a lot to do as well.)

So, this subject does tend to get a little controversial. How much homework is too much?

My daughter did 3 hours of homework on Monday, 2 hours on Tuesday, 2 1/2 hours on Wednesday, etc. And it’s not the kind of homework I can just let her be alone to do. I need to be with her, to help teach and watch how she does it. All the while I am trying to start dinner, but end up getting it on the table late because of homework.

So here’s how I see it. 5th grade gets intense. I understand that they are trying to get kids ready for Jr. High. This is good practice, but here’s where I argue the point. They are in school 7 hours a day. Granted, there’s time set aside for recess and lunch, but in all that time, couldn’t they get some of that homework finished IN SCHOOL and bring home less?

{And don’t forget about the extra projects, the book reports, the weeks of studying for an upcoming test in math, spelling, science, social studies, and history.}

Homework is vital and important. I like to see what they know and remember outside of the classroom. However, I also think kids these days don’t get to play like they used to. They should get time to be kids after a long, hard (and sometimes) stressful day.

Is the homework load too much?

I want highly educated kids. I don’t want to send them to school just to learn fluff. I like to see teachers motivate and encourage them, but do you think there is a point where it becomes overly excessive?

I’ll step off my soapbox. But I want to know, what do you think? Do you find it ridiculous or fair?

What are your opinions on the matter? Are our schools helping our children achieve their potential, or are they failing them because of class size and homework load? A little bit of both?

On a different note...

You gotta LOVE free stuff! Jordan is doing a GiVeAwAy! Details HeRe! :)

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-08-27T17:20:00.001-06:00

Does the inside of your fridge look like this??

Do you reach for the speghetti sauce and feel something cold and slimy rub against your fingertips and know WITHOUT A DOUBT that it wasn't the 6 month old bag of rotting carrots?

*I shudder.*

Jordan has come up with an ingenious solution for getting organized. Seriously, I won't give it all away, but check out her blog site--the first of her mini-series to attacking your home and claiming it back from the grasps of clutter.

Ironically, I'm just starting my spring cleaning. Maybe it's because the kids are off to school and I'm finally getting around to those projects I've been meaning to get to without playing referee to our unscheduled rugby matches inside the house!

Should you feel you are in the same boat, head over to Jordan's site where you will find a creative and wonderful blueprint to getting organized.

Starting with the fridge. :)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A SMALL TOWN WHEN...

2010-08-23T07:38:00.000-06:00

My family and I took a small vacation over the weekend. We drove great distances over flat, barren, and sightless land that stretched out as far as you could see in any direction. There were mountains in the far distance, but between our car and those mountains, sagebrush, prairie grass, and a cow or two.

Oh, and then there was the occasional house built on desolate earth with no trees around it, but a car always parked there.

Which always brings these questions to mind:

A—What do they do for a living when there is no farming pastures or a city within hours?

B—WHY?!

C—who was their real estate agent and why did they buy the land and build?

D—Again, WHY???!!!!

So, as we drove across miles of nothingness, we saw this sign:

Um…..? We shared a big laugh. Sure enough, there was a parking lot with surprisingly—NO cars in the lot. The possibility of such an activity was WAY too rambunctious for our crew.

I tell ya, those tumbleweeds and cows were riveting.

As we continued to drive, it was bound to happen. Someone had to go to the bathroom. We drove into the next small town. When I mean small, I mean population of 3. As in: 1 person and 2 sheep.

We saw this sign off the highway and we desperately followed it.

Funny thing about small towns….we came upon their “PUBLIC RESTROOMS”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

The chainlink fence around it adds a really nice touch! It makes it feel more "private".

Don’t you love the humor of small towns?

And yes, my husband and kids used it.

Of course I took pictures! Wait…er…not of them doing their business….uh…I meant…of the surrounding edifice…..

*awkward silence*
.

Anyway, I opted to hold for however long it took until we got to our destination. {Like you wanted to know that.} I tend to get a little squeamish. {Okay, I’m a germaphobe!}

Don’t you love the archives of photos taken on family vacations?! I’ll always remember our public restroom stop. :)

MONDAY THOUGHT

2010-08-16T11:22:00.001-06:00

I don’t have much to post, but I thought I would share some pics. The last week we’ve had some great thunderstorms. I DID NOT do any Photoshop on these pictures—this is how the clouds looked outside my house at sunset, just as a storm was blowing in as another rolled out.

Incredible, huh?

Jordan, however, must have known that I wasn’t going to get around to blogging much today. This last week of summer for our family is WAAAAY busy. {I figure if I add three more “A’s” in there, you’ll get just how busy I really am!}

She’s posted a great thought, one that will make you stop and think.

You can read her story HeRe.

Have a great week everybody.

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-08-12T21:23:00.000-06:00

Sheer. Utter. Genius.

Those words make up the entire brilliance that is Jordan's post.

Check it out. Seriously!

I know you all have your "fairies". {don't deny it.} At our house we have the "cold foot fairy", the "nameless fairy"--fairies who come and will leave a treat under my 4 year old's pillow EVERY morning if she can manage to stay IN HER ROOM ALL friggin' night LONG. {And cover her feet so she doesn't get "cold feet" during the night.}

However, since Jordan posed the question, I could use a few more creative fairies around the house.

Oh, like....

"Take-away-the-terrible-two's" fairy, or the "whisk-away-sassy-mouth-preteen" fairy. Or the "never-have-to-be-pregnant-the-stork-will-bring-you-your-child-and-leave-it-on-the-doorstep" fairy. And why not "Datenight" fairy? Where is SHE when I need her?!

And my ultimate dream fairy would be:

"take-away-my-husband's-gas" fairy.

If you feel you can relate, walk over to Jordan's blog and read her funny post!

*sigh*

I always need a good laugh...

HOW TO MAKE PUPPY STEW

2010-08-02T07:31:00.000-06:00

Okay--before I give you the ingredients for how to make Puppy Stew--what the heck is wrong with Blogger? It's loading my pics sideways??? Is anyone else having constant problems? Lame.

Anyway, I've been cooking in the kitchen lately, coming up with new recipes. Look at me--I'm SO domestic! YAY for something other than speghetti!

The other day I came up with a recipe which I call: Puppy Stew.

Weird name, I know. Doesn't sound appetizing, but trust me, it's a great solution. First, make an inventory of all the ingredients to ensure you have everything on hand before you start.

1--Weather stripping: Pulled off around the doorframes like licorice rope and chewed up. Check.

2--Shoes: pulled out of shoe cubby, thrown down the stairs and chewed up. Check.

3--Door frames: chewed, and making termites jealous. Check.

(Make sure you chant this while simmering! Crucial key to cooking!)

4--Holes dug in yard: tunnel excavation to china in process. Check.

5--Drip hoses: Severed. Check.

6--Trees: bark stripped and frayed. Check.

7--Bite marks on kids: plenty. Check.

8--Bread: pulled off counter and bag chewed to tiny pieces. Unfortunately, dog didn’t choke and she’s still alive. *sigh* Check.

9--Plants in veggie garden: dug up and killed. Check.

10--Weeds pulled out in the demolition: NONE! STUPID DOG! UGH!

11--Barking: Plenty of disorderly noise. Noise violation enforced and neighbors silently complaining. Check.

12--A stealth rocket with the launch ability to go from here to Indognesia--{hey—it’s better than my lame joke of Ecuadog}--under the U.S. military’s radar: Ordered and shipped.

{Little seatbelt and doggie cage: extra, desperately paid it anyway with Visa.}

Projected arrival date? SOON. Give or take 7-10 business days.

Now all you need to do is gather 4 mo. old puppy, lock her in cage with stew pot, and add water. Don’t worry about measurements. She’ll drink when thirsty. Secure her safely to rocket {You don’t want the chance of her slipping out!} grab the nearest lighter, light fuse, and VIOLA!!!

And that is what I call: Fast food.

Your American Hot Dog is officially on her way to her new location.

JORDAN'S STREET

2010-07-29T20:19:00.000-06:00

It's not too late! Hurry peeps!!

CHANGE OF PLANS

2010-07-26T08:14:00.000-06:00

I had a Monday post. I did. I have been such a slacker this Summer with my blog, I'd be surprised if anyone is around left to read it anymore. :)

But in the wee morning hours, my daughter woke up really sick, poor thing. I have been by her side because she's too afraid to be alone. (It's a really bad flu bug.)

So while she is currently running to the bathroom and taking the gold in the 100 meter squirt sprint, I have a spare moment to share a quick link with you instead.

My beautiful neighbor introduced me to this comedian over the weekend. I laughed and laughed...had to run to the bathroom a few times myself! The guy is Tim Hawkins. And the best part? He does clean comedy! Since you can't download his videos off YouTube (unless you subscribe), I can only post a link.

If you want a good belly laugh, check out his comedy. The link will provide you with his Delilah song--but check out the sidebar to his other comedy stuff. Hope your week starts out better than what's happening over here. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNcMgGGOwzE&feature=PlayList&p=6D1D4221A2BA1F2F&playnext=1&index=44

And this one (below) is for Jordan...who had to suffer with this on her way back home to AZ. Which makes for a long, LONG 12 hours!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No8wNBqn4RI&feature=PlayList&p=6D1D4221A2BA1F2F&playnext=1

Jordan's Street Corner--er--Junction

2010-07-23T18:32:00.000-06:00

Jordan went on vacation...

Her little family stopped in Vegas along the way...

This is where the story takes a dark turn...

We all have our Vegas stories. I will kindly not upload the pictures that come to mind to plug her post--but do you have a story about visiting Las Vegas? Feel free to liberate your thoughts here--AFTER you've checked out Jordan's adventure!

MY MONDAY LAUGH

2010-07-19T07:22:00.001-06:00

Thanks to my lovely friend Jen for emailing this to me. I had a serious good laugh! Somewhere out there is a clever writer!

I hope this starts out your Monday just right. Enjoy!

The Psychiatrist and Proctologist

Two doctors, a psychiatrist and a proctologist, opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias andPosteriors."

The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to read, "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to "Catatonics and High Colonics." No go.

Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Thumbs down again.

Then came "Minds and Behinds." Still no good.

Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes." Unacceptable again!

So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts." Not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts?" No way.

"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.

"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

Everyone loved it.

Summer Giveaway!! :)

2010-07-16T18:54:00.000-06:00

I am pretty jealous of the summer giveaway going on over at MMA!

Jordan has a way of creating a blog post. I admit, when I try to plug her, it always comes off so cheesy next to her blog art. She just has a mad talent for words, pictures, stories, and fastening them all together in a pretty, beautiful, envious bow.

So--I have to ask. Who doesn't like a good splurge? Especially if it's free?

DUH!!!

Pretend these are brilliant Vegas lights flashing at you when I say "CLICK HERE" and go check out what you can win!!

BTW--I've shopped at this site before where the giveaway is being held. I bought the most darling shabby chic tulle curtains and victorian chandeliers from them. As a previous customer, I have been truly happy with their service!

Can I enter the giveaway...????

SUMMER OF 2010!

2010-07-12T10:17:00.000-06:00

I have been the worst blogger! My summer has flown past! There are days I don't want to end, then I have days when I am giddily making black checks across the calendar in anticipation of school starting.

Can you believe its mid July?! Summer is half over!

I’ve been trying to cram in as much fun-filled adventures as our family can do. With four kids under 10—it’s actually been difficult finding entertainment other than the usual park.

Laaaaaaaame.

So, I’ll just take you through a tour of what we’ve been doing. Pictures say more than words, right?

Camping with a puppy = adventure. That look on her face is unrestrained enthusiasm. (No pun intended…you know…because she’s tied up and all…restrained. Okay. It sounded funnier in my head, but dorkier when I type it out.)

Our little pooch stayed tied up, but hey, we offered her free kid’s legs and ankles to nip at if they walked past. Chew toys are sooooo overrated! Whenever she acted up, we tossed her a kid.

What? You don’t give your kids hair cuts and deep conditioning treatments with Walmart sacks held on by flashy headbands while on golf carts eating otter pops, while camping? Sheesh.

Then you truly haven’t camped in style.

Roasting marshmallows the size of toilet paper! YEEHAW! Everything else is supersized—why not marshmallows? Root canal and tooth decay here we come!

So how did we pass the time when TOO much family camping over TOO many days of living together got to be TOO much? We got out our guns.

And we had a marshmallow war!!! FUN!!!!!!!

(I won, in case you were wondering. Wade if you’re reading this, you’ll just have to accept it. It sucks to lose, and it’s okay to lament.)

Summer thunderstorms. *Sigh* We've been watching a lot of them. Isn't that sheet lightning beautiful?!

My daughter had a birthday and we took her to Pirate’s Island for dinner. Is there one by you? SUPER CUTE! (Basically it’s the pirate version of Chuckie Cheese—but the food is actually good!)

I felt like I was in Disneyland. All they needed was the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to complete the whole experience!!

How cute is he?! Doesn’t the servant—I mean server—look like Josh Groban?!

More family get-togethers. Nothing brings us together like marshmallow guns and war.

You know you’re a redneck when…

Can you see my brother-in-law in the background? Again, see the way he is cowering? Yep. He’s just afraid of the power I pack. I’ll have to say, this was a draw. Four girls against him was fair! You should have seen the bruises on my bod. You’d think we were playing paint ball!

TIP: WEAR GLASSES, LONG SLEEVED SHIRT, PANTS, AND A HELMET!!!! Bubble wrap wouldn’t hurt either!

On the 4th of July we went to a BBQ and I ran into this hottie at the picnic party:

Yep! Jordan drove into town! We had fun catching up and watching her brother (my cousin) light home fireworks and try to light himself on fire!

And lastly—my hubby and I had an entire day to go on a date! (Don’t worry there isn’t mushy romantic details involved. Ewww.) Nope, we went exploring up in the mountains! We took these beautiful pictures of the mountains above where we live.

Then we went shooting!! Because I have a sick obsession...

What is it about holding a gun that makes my skin tingle in excitement! Granted, these are pellet guns--but no matter--one day, I’ll own a real gun!

So is it just me but I am stunned that summer is halfway over! I hope your summer is turning out just as fun and exciting! I’m running out of ideas of what to do with my kids before school resumes. What kind of fun things have you found that you can do with kids—especially young kids? I am OPEN for suggestions! I know there are MANY, MANY creative minds out there! :)

THE LEMONADE STAND

2010-06-28T08:14:00.000-06:00

Question:

Do you ever stop to buy lemonade from local neighborhood kids selling treats and drinks?

I do. I think it is sooooo cute. Not only that, but it shows kids early-on how to manage money, be a go-getter, and to be hard working. I have to support that.

{Sometimes I don’t stop. It depends on who is screaming in the car at the time. The toddlers—or me.}

In fact, the other day I stopped at a table where 6 boys were holding signs no bigger than a sheet of paper. I had no clue what they were selling. I stopped anyway, seeing how excited and desperate they were to make a dime. Honestly, my hands were tied. Either I could continue driving forward using one as an inconvenient speed bump, or I could park half-way into the road as they jumped around, waving frantic arms in the air and shouting for the passersby to stop.

“Whatcha selling?” I asked.

“Kool-Aid,” one shouted.

“Rocks,” blurted another excitedly.

“Shark teeth,” said another.

“My sister’s used make-up.” {Naw. I’m making that last one up. I just expected it at this point.}

“Shark teeth?” I asked. The little boy comes up and places jagged rocks in my palm. “Wow,” I say, “those are so...impressive!”

So at an expensive $1.25 a cup, (6 boys, they have to divide the loot.) I see the reason for their inflated prices and order 4 cups of Kool-Aid, 5 rocks, and a shark tooth to go.

I drive off, smiling as they count their money ecstatically.

This is what summer is all about--kids selling lemonade.

BUT WHAT IF….

So, I’m driving to Costco and minding my own business when I drive past a fancy green and white striped booth. It’s a lemonade stand. Sitting behind it was—

Are you ready for this?

*Add dramatic pause*

A twenty year old!!!!

Laughing out loud, I swing the car around again. I had to take another look! There he was, wearing fancy shades, leaning back in his chair sheltered by the awning and sitting comfortably in the shade…selling lemonade.

AdORaBLE:

CReePY:

I stop for kids because it’s about principle and it’s so dang cute. They light up, they laugh, and they’re working hard for all their littleness. Really—we stop because it’s NOT about the lemonade. For an old teenager/twenty year old, it’s—dare I say—lazy. And double creepy.

And you know what? He’s out there. Every day. The sight just takes me off guard and I can’t help but giggle every time I see him. I don’t think he’s unstable or anything, he looks normal, so I think he’s just looking for easy cash. I didn’t have the guts to stop—for fear of laughing my head off while he poured me a glass of Kool-Aid while I dropped $.50 cents in his hand.

*Wiping hysterical tears away*

Would you have bought a glass? Do you think there should be an age limit?

It definately was a hilarious sight. My lemonade experience is now complete. :)

*photos courtesy of rockinghchairwisdom, dialogoffashion, senses.thirdi.com.*

JORDAN'S JUNCTION

2010-06-24T21:13:00.000-06:00

There is a reason why I tend to stick to writing. I am not a scrapbooker, a very artsy kind of person. I use to be--way back in the day. I use to draw, compose songs, I could envision the music I created in my head and the instruments I would assemble. (August Rush anyone?)

But styles change, people change...which is probably why I don't do much anymore and venture outside my usual hobbies of now writing, photography, and home decorating.

There are so many dang creative people out there! Seriously! I need several more exclamation points to get my point across!!!

When I read Jordan's blog, it was a fantastic idea! I yearned to be creative again. I admit I wish I had thought up something so clever. Summer boredom is kicking in for my kids and I have been HUNTING for things for them to do. I am now headed down to Walmart and buying a cheap $15 digital camera. (Do they make them that cheap? I guess we'll find out.)

If you want to see what all the buzz and creative ideas are stirring over at Jordan's neck of the woods, check it out HeRe!!!

WHERE HAS THE MONTH GONE?

2010-06-21T08:13:00.000-06:00

Okay—is anyone’s June just blowing past them?! It feels like the kids just got out of school and already they go back in less than six weeks!

I’ve enjoyed my break from school. It’s been sooooooo nice sleeping in till 7:30 and having a lazy and crazy month. In fact, I don’t have any blogging material!

*GASP!*

It’s just been so pleasant. I wish I had something to write about today, but it is my oldest kiddo’s birthday! And I’m taking this day off to go do things I don’t normally do. I’ll be taking them to the park, letting them play in the shallow creek, having a picnic, playing some more, and taking all the kids out to dinner tonight. I just want to celebrate this day with her to let her know how much we love her.

I hope your summer is feeling as carefree and enjoyable as mine has been. And can I say I am ubberly, UBBERLY excited for the 4th!!!

The 4th of July is my favorite holiday. I love Christmas too, don’t get me wrong, but there is something about the 4th of July and I live for this holiday! It’s patriotism and love for our country and our freedom at its best! I know this is WAY early, but I just want to extend my thanks and gratitude for the men and women who take it upon themselves to defend freedom for me, my children, and everyone else. I love America. I’ll climb on my soapbox in a few weeks, but for now, I want to shout out my appreciation early. :)

Have a great last week of June!

JORDAN'S JUNCTION

2010-06-18T11:00:00.000-06:00

YAY! Our little garden gnome princess has returned!!!!

If you're thinking that I'm talking about tacky lawn decor, you are sadly mistaken! I talking about my vertically challenged cousin who has been MIA while fighting evil wizards (previous tile company who did a crappy job, forcing them to chip away old tile), knights in shining armor (good, reputable tile company, installing new tile), and our gnome princess even managed to throw in a few 'mission impossible' assignments in there. (Jumping on counters, climbing walls, swinging from the ceiling fan, shouting out Tarzan's mating call--ALL to make a bowl of oatmeal for her rumbling tummy.)

Word on the street says she's been hiding out at Subway and Cafe Rio. (Shhh....I have reliable sources.)

Should you see her, go give her a warm hello. For the rest of us who can't seem to track her down, CLiCk HeRe to catch up with her latest stalwart adventures!

Why I Ban My Children From Going Shopping With Me

2010-06-07T08:22:00.000-06:00

Reason 1—I don’t need a reason. Taking kids to the store is reason enough. EVERY mother understands this. It’s a universal law.

Since I pretty much covered my bases with reason #1, I’ll just throw out reason #2 just for fun.

Yep, for fun.

Because:

A few weeks ago, when my husband returned home from work, he had to go to the store. He decided to take our two older girls shopping with him.

“DA DA DUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.”

*ominous music here*

Still in his dress shirt and pants from work, my husband walked down the frozen food section where he saw his reflection against the glass...

Nope, this is not him. My husband doesn’t wear a dreamy grin on his face like he’s walking through a field of brownies when shopping with kids. Nope. It’s more like this:

Seeing that his dress shirt was slightly untucked, he proceeded to tuck it in.

Oops. Wrong picture. My bad.

Ah, here it is! This is the one.

And this was his pose. Just like this. My man was working the frozen food aisle! RAWR, RAWR!

Our beautiful, blithe-spirited 7 year old daughter—Bisquick—saw what he was doing and literally began to retch. (She was born normal, I assure you, but she’s just very…animated.)

{I take full blame. She gets it from me.}

This daughter was born loud, louder than Gilbert Godfrey going through puberty. She uses her voice as a weapon. No, really, she does. She can hit notes as high as Mariah Carey and screeches to get a reaction. Even adults have to cover their ears. To give you an idea, she still to this day doesn’t know how to whisper. She can’t.

So, as my husband was tucking his shirt in, my 7 year old daughter was standing behind him. There, in the crowded market place, chock full of shoppers in the frozen food aisle, my daughter’s booming voices rips across the aisle, “EWWWWW! GROSS!!! DAD JUST SCRATCHED HIS BUTT RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!”

Our 9 year old daughter turned redder than her father. Mortified she cried, “Bisquick! Shhhhh! Everyone can hear you!”

“BUT HE DID!” she cried, “I SAW IT! HIS HAND WENT UNDER HIS PANTS AND EVERYTHING!!!!”

Oh, the tales I could tell about this family. A day in our life is full of embarrassing, laughable moments just like this. And we got to share it with a crowed market full of strangers.

*squeal!*

And that’s why I wait till Saturday to shop, so I can leave them home with their dad.

The End.